If You See These 4 Red Flags, Don't Marry Her.

 Marriage is a sacred institution ordained by God to serve two major purposes, One is to provide companionship, mutual help and fellowship between partners. Second is to create a stable home in which children can grow and thrive. That's not to say the two reasons I mentioned are the only purposes marriage is meant to serve, not at all.

There are other purposes God designed marriage for. God designed marriage to protect individuals from sexual immorality, God designed marriage to give us a picture of our relationship with him. Ephesians Chapter 5:25 says "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also love the church and gave himself for it;. 

They are all the purposes marriage is meant to serve but like I said earlier, the two major purposes are for companionship and to create a stable home where children can grow and thrive. The qualities of the person you want to marry must be able to satisfy those two conditions. If she doesn't dosen't satisfy those two, then don't even think of marrying her. It will be a colossal mistake.

The qualities to check out for in her are as follows:

One is alignment of goals: When I mention alignment of goals, it doesn't necessarily mean that you should have the same career with her, it means the both of you should be able to understand and support each other even if you have  different professions. 

Check out if she has interest in helping you attain your desired height in your field, check out if she loves what you do. She must have to love what you do first for her to be able to support you.

 If she always speak bad of your career, if she always criticize every plan of yours to grow higher in your career, don't ever think of marrying her, it's a very serious red flag. 

If you go ahead and marry her, you will be saddled with  frustration and confusion all through the course of the marriage which is going to implode your home.

Second is empathy: Empathy is another quality she must possess for you to consider her for marriage. Empathy is a selfless act that allows your spouse to put herself in your situation. 

A partner who finds it difficult to share in your experiences will find it challenging to offer genuine support. When she empathizes with you, she will see things from their different perspective and understand why you think the way you do, feel the way you do and even act the way you do. If she lacks empathy, don't marry her.

Third is respect: Respect is very important for your marriage to succeed, in fact, it is the key to a successful marriage. She must be willing to respect you. If she does not respect you, she make decisions on her own, even decisions that affect you too, she treat you badly in front of people and she makes you feel less worthy and less important all the time. 

If she always want to change who you are, if she can't respect you for who you are, if she always want to force her will on you, if she fails to understand that both of you can have a difference of opinion. Dont marry her, the marriage will be full of chaos.

Fourth is submission: Ephesians chapter 5:22 clearly states that a wife should submit to her husband. She must be willing to submit to you, if she's not ready, don't marry her. 

Two leaders cannot be running the same home, there must be one leader.  If she disrespects your own point of view, if she invalidates you especially in front of others, if she wouldn't allow you to be the leader in the house, don't marry her.

These does not translate that she should suppress her own thoughts and desires. It does not translate you have the permission to be a tyrant, caring only about your  own needs. You ought to give her the love, the care and the protection she needs. Give her space to air her view as well.

May God help you to find the right partner in the course of your search